Belief and Schizophrenia

If you find the writing in this entry a bit clunky it’s because I will not use pronouns to refer to a god or God. Doing so would erroneously impart gender and further anthropomorphize what is clearly not a human being. There is more then enough error polluting and shrinking the human mind regarding the topic, beliefs, and worship of deity. I will not knowingly add to it.

To believe in a god who's nature and will is presumed understandable requires the fabrication of a split mind. Those who are believers will tell you without hesitation that God is omnipotent, which is to say in possession of complete, unlimited power and authority. Pressed a bit further they will attest that God is infinite and beyond comprehension. God lacks nothing. Cannot be injured or killed. God transcends, which means God goes beyond our capacity for thought, belief and understanding. That is one half of the believer’s mind talking. The other half says something completely different. God is understandable. We, the believers are the ones who know what God wants. God has needs and we must act in certain ways to fulfill them. The contradictions here are more than obvious. If God is infinite in all aspects, we as finite beings cannot know God and cannot know what God wants. Furthermore, if God is complete and lacking nothing, why would God want anything at all? What could a human possibly do to add or subtract something from God? Mental illness is required to be a believer. This state of psychosis is most often initially inflicted upon us as children by our parents who are themselves stewing in error. If there is a God, an ultimate source of all that is, what kind of arrogance and deluded thinking is required to believe such an entity could be understood? If there is a God, how could any human act mental or physical enhance or diminish that entities existence.? If there is a God, how could God's nature remain anything but beyond the scope of our senses and perceptions?

Many believers may agree with me thus far if only to a point. No doubt they would take care to further assert that though I may be correct in part, I am neglecting to take into account what they believe to be Divine Revelation, which is God’s own communication to humans about God’s nature and will.

Let me point out that if God, being all that God is, did communicate directly with humans, I am certain the message would have been clear, concise and beyond misunderstanding. If God has engaged in Divine Revelation, the enormous amount of argument, confusion and violent disagreement over that revelation indicates the failure of both the message itself and its means of delivery.

Over the years the Bible has become for many the primary source of Divine Revelation. Searching there we will find many faces of God. A loving God. A jealous God. A merciful, forgiving God. A vengeful God who not only punishes the wrong doer, but even seven generations of his or her descendants and in many cases, entire nations! So, what is the nature of God? What is God’s will? What does it reveal about a person who believes he or she knows God’s nature, God’s will and what should be done to satisfy God’s will?

Belief is not benign. There are many tragic consequences tied to it. History reveals countless incidents where actual, demonstrable facts were cast aside in favor of religious belief. People were burned alive for asserting the truths of a round and not flat earth, an earth that revolves around the sun and an earth that is not at the center of the universe. Even worse, faith has epidemically been the primary initiator of untold suffering for humankind.. How many wars have been fought, tortures inflicted, bombs tossed and (fill in your own terrors here) because of faith? If you say, well faith also brings forth charity you should stop and consider how insane it is to conclude that faith is required for people to behave and relate well . Secondly, that any sort of charity that might drip down from faith could ever outweigh the damage it has done and continues to do incessantly. Religion, God and belief are fantasies we cannot give further indulgence. When we were still primitive concocting gods and religions to explain what was mysterious in our existence was the best we could do. But clinging to ancient and dangerous mental concessions to mystery is stunting our evolution and progression as individuals, societies and a species. Children may find comfort and amusement in their beliefs of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, but any adult who believed in them would be considered mentally impaired. Belief of any kind in a supernatural deity that can be understood and known is a contradiction of that deity’s nature and will always require a schizophrenic mind. Better to look at the world, at history, at suffering and what really works to lessen it. Better to use our intellect, awareness, talents, resources, strong healthy natural, not supernatural relationships to improve the conditions of all those in need in our world. We have grown beyond the Stone Age. We need to once and forever move beyond Stone Age adherence and slavery to erroneous concepts of a god and dangerously flawed modes of thinking and conceptualization of our existence. We don’t live in caves anymore. Continuing to think like our distant ancestors would be like limiting ourselves to using there tools and knowledge as well. I am sure you, like me, would not hobble yourself by using pre-historic means of acquiring food, treating the sick and injured or even traveling and communicating. Why then should we continue to employ faith and belief in our quest for understanding our existence so that we may all enjoy better lives?

Just a Bit Deeper

I’ve been telling people about this blog and asking them to read it and give me their feedback. Some have told me they think its quite good and others have been shocked by its intensity. Thus far, no one has disagreed with what I have said here. One person suggested I tone it down a bit. Having asked for feedback, I carefully considered the advice to tone it down. In doing so I thought of this analogy: when someone burns his or her self on a hot stove, the reaction of quickly jerking away one’s hand is natural. I felt burned by the words of my mother and what I have written is, as I titled it, partly reflex and then something beyond reflex. Now, if when burned at the stove, one takes an ax to it, that would be something in need of being toned down. As I did not take an ax to my mother, I think the blog is just fine as it is.

I have been thinking about the Bible a lot lately. What is it about believing in the Bible that makes people so often rigid and despising of common sense? One commenter on my blog said that what I wrote, in essence opened his eyes. So, with the though of opening a few more eyes I went to my Bible and started looking at what it says about various things. What follows are just a few of the things I have found there and what I think about them. You, of course, will have to reach your own conclusions. And, when you do, don’t fall into the trap of thinking them permanent. Everything you conclude today should remain open to revision should new information become available to you. Failing to do so, failing to remain open minded and vigilant to new information is the primary reason the Bible is itself being so poorly understood and put into practice.

I am going to start with Proverbs 31:6-7 which says, “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish: let them drink and forget there poverty and remember their misery no more.” Now, the synonyms for anguish in my thesaurus are: suffering, agonized, tortured, painful, distressed, grief-stricken, sorrowful, angst-ridden and anxious. According to the Bible, those suffering from these conditions should be made and kept drunk. Covering anguish with intoxicants is the opposite of a effective strategy. A healthier response would be to identify the cause of the malady and bring to bear one’s abilities to rectify the situation. If one has a stone in one’s shoe and is caused discomfort, should one pop open a beer or just remove the stone? Following this biblical advice would have us a species of alcoholics because there is no way to go through life without at times experiencing anguish. Let us see this advice for what it really is, at best an attempt to alleviate suffering. Though its intent may be noble, its application can only be disastrous.

What does research say about corporal punishment? Research indicates that children who are subjected to corporal punishment are more aggressive, are involved in more fights, achieve scholastically below those who were not administered corporal punishment and those who are spanked as children have a greater incidence of failed relationships later in life. This is what the research reveals. That means, when the consequences of corporal punishment are examined, there we find its victims intellectually and emotionally damaged. Is that a price we are willing to pay because our child may be unruly or disobedient at times? Children will be unruly, they will be disobedient. Those are not character flaws in them but steps along the way to healthy growth and maturity. Spanking or beating a child because you believe its good for him or her is simply erroneous and damaging. Doing so because perhaps you are irritated says something very damning about yourself indeed.

Now, we see what both the evidence and common sense say about corporal punishment. What does the Bible say about it? In Proverbs 29:17 we read, “Discipline your son, and he will bring you peace: he will bring delight to your soul.” Before you think to yourself that this direction doesn’t sound so bad, after all, discipline can be very good for children, let’s look at what “discipline” means in a passage appearing earlier in Proverbs. Proverbs 13:24 states, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” So, we see that “discipline” means hitting the child, not with your hand, but with a rod. Its doesn’t describe what type of rod is to be used but I think striking a child with anything called a rod is just sick. Now, if you are thinking that you might just hit the child with the rod but not too severely, think again because in Proverbs 20:30 we read, “Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.” Apparently, you must wound and bruise the child for the discipline to be effective. We have words for that now; assault, child abuse, felony. Can you think of a few more? Sick, twisted, perverse? Furthermore, this last teaching isn’t limited to children is it? A reasonable extension of this mandate would be to open beating stations in every market place in the world. Society would be less evil if it members received regular beatings, bruises and wounds according to the Bible. Hector and I have been thinking about opening a business. Perhaps we have stumbled on to something here. We’ll do it big time since we both really hate evil. Biblical Beatings Boutique! Just think of the jobs it will create, the tax revenue it will generate! There are over 6.5 billion people on the planet. Just manufacturing the rods alone would stimulate the global economy. I see designer rods! Which one does Madonna prefer? Maybe we could have cute Disney rods for the toddlers adorned with Mickey, Minnie and Donald? I am thinking FRANCHISE!!! Or, alternatively,we could just talk to our children when they need correction. Use time-out techniques when they need some cooling off. Always treat them with dignity and respect so they can learn the importance of those practices in human society and relationships. Perhaps in doing so, the number of broken adults will begin to diminish and indeed ln our world less evil will reside.

A couple of people did comment that my last blog entry was a bit on the long side. I heard what you said! So, I will stop here for now. Be confident however that I am going to continue with this theme a bit more. What I have written in this entry comes from only 4 verses of the Book of Proverbs. I encourage you to grab a Bible and read it, really read it. Don’t read it like some mystical oracle. Just read it using your common sense, intelligence and most importantly compassion. Doing this will be most revealing and though you will find wisdom there, you won’t have to read very long to find insanity as well. Next time, I will point out more of the insanities there.

A Reflex and Then Some

Well, as I mentioned in the introduction, this blog would take shape in response to the influences in my life at any given time. In fact, there is no other way it can take shape. This letter to my mother is the fruit of a particular experience and of course all of the experiences of my life that preceded it. Unless she reads this blog, she will never see this letter. It's not really meant for her anyway. It is in part a reflex to a very painful stimuli. What is not mere reflex is my mind working to make sense of the experience, at least for now with the knowledge and understanding I presently possess. Your comments will be appreciated.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Dear Mom,
A couple of days before Christmas, Rick (my brother) informed me via email that both you and Nan ( my mother’s sister who lives with her) were practically bedridden with the flu and in desperate need of some nursing and general assistance. Immediately, I felt the desire to jump on a plane, fly the 13 times zones (I am in The Philippines, my mother in Louisiana) in order to provide a measure of comfort to you both. I was also mindful of your’s and Nan’s advanced age (77 and 87 respectively) and the fact that for people so long in the tooth the flu is often much more then a mere nuisance. I talked to Hector (my incredibly loving partner who also happens to be a registered nurse) and we both decided that traveling there to assist you both would be an act of kindness, though with some difficulty and expense, we could render unto you both. So, when I called you on Christmas day, it wasn’t just to wish you an innocuous Merry Christmas, but to also lift your spirits with the knowledge that your son and his partner both cared enough for you to undertake such an endeavor. But, upon revealing the good news to you , you dealt me a blow to the stomach with a red hot iron that burned long after it was delivered. You said, “You cannot stay here. This is a Christian home and I won’t have that in my house.” Those words will ring in my ears till the day I die.

After our call ended, which you will recall was not long after your assault, I regained most of my composure and began to ponder what could it possibly be about being Christian that would cause you to throw a pile of shit like that into the face of someone who loved and cared for you so much as to be willing to do for you what I was willing and ready to do. I went to my Bible, yes, I have a Bible (As will become more then obvious as this letter unfolds, I am not a Christian) and here are some of the things I found along with some secular wisdom:


It is generally accepted as wise that a good offense is a strong defense. But you hold the opposite opinion it seems, that a good defense is to be strongly offensive. I hadn’t even asked for us to stay at your Christian house. Though doing so would seem obvious since the whole purpose of our going there was to help you. This is not the first time you have used the pre-emptive strike against me. When I was there in November without Hector and I needed a ride to the airport because the one I had arranged fell through, upon telling you this you immediately pronounced ex cathedra, “Well, I’m not going to take you!” You really are quite good at the body punch. I hadn’t even asked you to take me. And, even if I had asked, you could have said something kind, wonderful and Christian like, “Oh, sorry to hear that. I can’t take you myself but let’s work together to make sure you arrive in time for your flight.” That would have been both more Christian and more humane, don’t you think?

I just don’t understand why the whole gay thing is so troublesome for so many Christians. I know it took you all a while, but you eventually came to accept in the light of irrefutable scientific discovery that the earth was not really flat and that the sun did not revolve around it. Though it is prudent here to recall that acceptance of this reality did not arrive without its martyrs; the many burned alive for daring to contradict the Bible and the mighty Holy Roman Catholic Church. Like those discoveries, and please note that a discovery is really just uncovering what is already there but up till that point unseen, it has been “discovered” (finally!) by the experts in the field of psychiatry and psychology that homosexuality is a natural occurrence in human beings, primates and other animals. That’s right, natural. Now, does being Christian actually require that you reject discovery completely or just until a fixed number of people have suffered enough to help you let go of your absurd fixation with adherence to being a mindless slave to enacting Bible mandates as they are literally written? If this is so, you can rest assured that by now Christians have caused untold suffering to the homosexuals among us and preceding us. How much more suffering do you require? Do you know? Is it in the Bible somewhere? Would you use the Bible as your sole source of information on geography (flat earth, earth at center of universe, earth mounted on four really large columns - that illustration was in my Bible when I was a boy- )? How about medicine ( leprosy and menstruation are curses)? Is the Bible your sole source for that? I could go on and on here but it is obvious to anyone with firing neurons that using the Bible as a sole source of anything is patently absurd.

It is said that you should not judge someone till you have walked a mile in that person’s shoes. So, just for the revelation it may provide you, imagine that you yourself were homosexual. How would it affect you? How would you feel if the self-proclaimed “righteous” despite all scientific evidence to the contrary continued to hold that there was something inherently defective about you? That even when they reached the conclusion that homosexuality itself was ok but actually living a homosexual life, expressing your very nature in a loving way was sinful? That no matter how loving and kind you were, any homosexual acts made you a monster and abhorrent to man and God. You might do as I have and looked at how Jesus himself responded to those engaged in perceived sexual transgressions. Jesus caused scandal by dining and associating with prostitutes. Dining with someone back then was considered quite intimate. Can you find even a single incidence in the Bible of Jesus condemning prostitutes? What about the woman about to be stoned by the crowed for having committed adultery? He told the crowd that the one among them without sin should cast the first stone, essentially admonishing them to humbly consider their own sinfulness before scrutinizing the sinfulness of another. Remove the plank from your own eye before going after the mote in the eye of another. But, let me assert here, I don’t think, and neither do the experts, that homosexuality is sinful or mote producing, but even if it was, Jesus is quite clear about what your response to it should be. In fact, if you read your Bible well, you will see that aside from a helpless fig tree, the only thing Jesus ever condemned were the Pharisees who thought themselves the most pious and righteous of all.

Now, I do know that the Bible does say some very explicit and ugly things about homosexuality. In the New Testament it is Saint Paul who authors they admonitions. In the Old Testament, chiefly the admonitions against homosexuality are found in Leviticus along with laws proscribing death to those who eat pork , shrimp, death to unruly children, who, according to Leviticus should be taken to the city gates and dashed to death upon them. Read on and on for more insanity. Please note however that in the entire Bible, Jesus utters not one single word regarding homosexuality, not one. If, homosexuality is an offense against God of the magnitude Christians make it out to be, you would think Jesus might have said something about it.

If the trouble with homosexuality is that it is technically adultery since some parts of society still will not allow same sex marriage, you might want to do some research on what marriage really is historically and how the only role of society is to note that two persons have themselves “married” by committing to live a loving life together with each other. Even now in marriage ceremonies, the minister or judge does not say, “I marry you” or “I cause you to be married”. Essentially the function of the minister or judge is to pronounce formally the union that was created by the couple themselves. Societal failure to recognize homosexual marriages does nothing to avert them, it only averts official recognition of them. So, therefore, homosexuals in a loving, committed relationship are married, whether you think they are or not and cannot commit adultery. But, again, even if you hold it is adulterous, recall Jesus’ response to adultery and contemplate your own sinfulness please.

Sadly, it is inescapably apparent, that you and others who share your views on homosexuality are in grave error. To steadfastly cling to your ignorance in the face of scientific research, careful examination of everything said in the Bible and just plain common sense requires tenacious self-righteousness, towering arrogance, deep, cold mean spiritedness and a Pharisaical sense of superiority. And let’s not forget the gargantuan hubris of thinking you know better then others the very mind and desires of God.

You and those like you are toxic. From 13 time zones away it sickens me. I will not expose Hector to your venom any more then I would give a child a viper as a crib mate. You will never have to worry about having “that” in your Christian house.

Now, just to be thorough, perhaps you might consider what follows as well.

Take an objective look at history. Identify honestly what caused the most suffering to humans over the last two thousand years. Look for the eruptions of cruel subjugation, manipulation, threats of terror, torture and death and the actual infliction of said terrors, tortures and death. Only twice in the last two millennia can outstanding sources of such amalgamated horrors be found. They are Nazi Germany and the Roman Catholic Church. To the relief of human-kind, the Nazi’s were stamped out in about 12 years. Yet, the Roman Catholic Church keeps chugging away with its invective and error to extend misery in the name of a loving God according to it‘s self proclaimed special understanding of what that God requires.

Desiring to wrest you from your stance of intolerance and ignorance, thus far I have employed science, reason, logic, careful reading of the Bible, and an examination of history. Now, in the hope of successfully liberating you from your error I will employ a bit of crudeness.

Almost all theologians now agree, along with science and common sense, that the story of Adam and Eve is just that, a story. Nothing more then an attempt by primitive humans to answer the nagging existential question of how and why did we begin. We would all do well to remember that the universe is vast beyond our ability to comprehend. It is in a word, infinite. Therefore any knowledge we might attain regarding the nature of our existence is at best, infinitesimal. That means really fucking small. If nothing else, this should inspire a spirit of humility among us. So, there was no actual Garden of Eden. No literal Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. No real apple. It is all fantasy and solely represents humankind’s discomfort with questions left unanswered. Don’t know the answer to something? Don’t research it. Don’t employ all the talents, skills and resources available to discover the reality of the situation. Much simpler to just make up some cool story and chain everybody to it for all eternity. With this fantasy exposed, there was no original sin. Original sin and the need to atone for it was the entire purpose behind God sending his only son to earth. Without original sin there is no need for the Christ at all. And even if there was a so called original sin, what kind of twisted, sadistic monster would require the torture and death of someone to atone for it? Would you? What offense could one suffer that would require the scourging and crucifixion of someone totally unrelated to the offense thousands of years later? Its all so ridiculous. In the Old Testament we are instructed that the punishment for an offense cannot exceed the offense itself. This is commonly known as the eye for an eye standard. In the New Testament, we find Jesus further moderating the response to offenses by saying the offender should be forgiven seventy times seven times. Literally taken, that is 490 offenses before punishment can be handed down. But, biblically, the number seven is representative of infinity. What Jesus is actually instructing is that we should forgive infinity times infinity times ten times! Hector and I could fuck ourselves to death and not reach that number. It’s all crap. Science, evolution, archeology, genetics, anthropology, mathematics and simple common sense scream out the impossibility of starting an entire species with only one breeding pair. And, even if such nonsense were possible, it would be incest on a colossal scale. Do you think the best method God could devise for bringing forth humanity would be to mandate that humanity spring forth through the genetically damaged offspring of incestuous mating?

Its all crap. The reason for Jesus coming is crap. The necessity of his suffering and torturous death is crap. Christianity itself is nothing but crap, heaped upon crap, stacked on more crap. Thus, you don’t have a Christian house. You have a house of crap. And, since all you homophobic, knowledge hating, ignorant, self-righteous, Pharisaical, micro-hearted, arrogant, disciples of crap think homosexuality is only about ass fucking, then I can think of no better place for ass fucking then in a house of crap. And trust me, Hector and I fuck the shit out of each other quite often. So, I think we could make your house even crappier. With us going at it night and day plowing each other mercilessly, in no time at all you could have the crappiest house in town. Unless of course there are some fags there who do threesomes or orgies, because no matter how much we fuck we couldn’t match the eye popping, ass pounding achieved in threesomes and orgies.

I am guessing by now you are pretty pissed. That’s what happens when you demonstrate to someone full of themselves that they have taken an untenable position. Perhaps in time, your anger will fade and you will realize just how smart it is to open your eyes and your heart. That, anyway, is my hope. But don’t worry, even if you don’t manage to free yourself from your ignorance before you die, we are not in need of your understanding and acceptance. Most of us have moved beyond the self hatred we suffered due to the indoctrination of the ignorant like you. Though you seek to injure us, still we reach out to you with love and the desire for healthy meaningful relationships. The tide has already turned and the light at the end of the tunnel is both warming and beautiful.

With regards, your loving and definitely not abhorrent son,

James

Thinking and Sharing in ePrint

I was tempted to write a lengthy introduction to this blog describing its purpose, my hopes for it and why I felt that writing it would be worthwhile for me and for those who might read it. I even wrote a rough draft and tweaked it a bit. But now as I actually sit down to write I realize its purpose, goals and value cannot be tethered to what I am thinking now. Like life itself, all things, including this blog will evolve into what it will based on countless interactions that influence everything that is. May you find its contents worth the time you invest. I eagerly anticipate your comments and insights regarding what you encounter here.

A little warning!

You can be assured some issues regarded as sensitive will be addressed within. If you are easily offended ask yourself why you are easily offended, put a chew toy in your mouth and read on.


A very brief and sketchy introduction to me:

I am presently a 46 year old gay man living in The Philippines with my partner. I am originally from New Orleans, Louisiana. I exclusively attended catholic schools kindergarten through graduate school. I hold a Bachelor's Degree in Secondary Education with a concentration in mathematics and a Master's Degree in Religious Education. I was a teacher of high school mathematics and Catholicism. I also worked as a real estate agent and in the insurance and financial services, investment sector. I have lived in Louisiana, Texas, New Mexico, New York, Hawaii, California and the Philippines. I have visited 19 countries, 20 if you count the Vatican as a country. I am a former devout catholic and now would best describe myself not as an atheist but as anti-theist. I try not to believe anything. I have found it much more efficacious to experience things as they are without the filters of dogma, doctrine and deism. And, as for the bits of my life and our universe remaining beyond my knowledge and comprehension, I understand that those kinds of holes will exist. As best I can, I focus my attention on the holes I and we can fill with truth, not fictions and delusions and let the others remain as reminders of just how wondrous existence is even without the gods and monsters we were taught to believe in. I try to walk humbly in light of this knowledge. I find the teachings of The Buddha quite enlightening but eschew the barnacles that have attached themselves to his wisdom over the last two millenia. I am tempted to say I am well read, but is that even really possible? My favorite novel is Resurrection by Leo Tolstoy and my favorite work of non-fiction is The Dancing Wu Li Masters by Gary Zukov. In general I enjoy Utopian literature. A few of my favorite authors are Aldous Huxley, Leo Tolstoy, Dan Brown, and, well, more. I enjoy cooking and am told I am good at it. I guess the only other thing you should know for now is I have a good life, I am happy and generally walk around with a little smile if not on my lips, not too far from them. I laugh a lot.

Cheers!